It is the age old winter dilemma. It’s cold outside, and suddenly the kids need something to do. Most parents hate slogging through hundreds of different internet sites looking for activities. Luckily, local entrepreneurs and Bethesda residents Lisa Friedlander and Ilene Miller have created a powerful tool to help.   In September, Friedlander and Miller founded Activity Rocket, a free online search engine for children’s activities in Montgomery County. The site lets parents search a wide variety of activities, similar to travel search engines such as Expedia or Kayak. The site allows parents …

I was hiding from Ethel The Bus Stop Loudmouth this morning before the bus came. Unfortunately, she spotted me crouching behind a hedge.   “Give me a hand getting Tiny Tim to the bus,” Ethel called as she half-carried her son to the corner. Yes, her son is Tiny Tim, the sickly child from “A Christmas Carol,” complete with crutches and an 1800s London accent. Poor Tim was pale and glassy eyed. “He’s fine,” she puffed. “I gave him Tylenol.” “Ethel,” I scolded, “he shouldn’t go to school if he has any of the following: Fever  (100 degrees or above orally) Headache Persistent cough Sore throat …

"Whose wet towel is on the floor?" "No video games until your homework is done." "Did you feed the hamster?" "You better not be watching TV in there." "Yes, I am trying to ruin your day." Nag. Nag. Nag. That’s me. I don’t want to nag. I don’t want to spoil the fun, but day after day I’m confronted by unwashed dishes, shoes in the middle of the hall and starving pets. Pets that my son promised, Promised, PROMISED- CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE, AND I SWEAR I’LL NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN- promised to feed and look after. "No computer games until you have finished your reading for …

Did you check the local news today? If so, you know people are all aflutter over a new study that finds “SpongeBob Square Pants” is bad for four-year-olds. In the words of SpongeBob, “Well, duh.” (You may be familiar with our previous reflection on this pineapple-dwelling sea sponge and his effects on kids.) While previous research has linked TV-watching with long-term attention problems in children, the new study suggests watching just nine minutes of “SpongeBob” can cause short-term attention and learning problems in four-year-olds. University of Virginia psychology professor Angeline …

Where were you on Sept. 11, 2001? The answer jumps instantly into every adult’s mind, along with thoughts and feelings about that horrible day.    In Los Angeles, I awoke on September 11th to the drama unfolding on television. The next days and weeks were clouded with confusion and fear. When– and where- would the terrorists strike next? Newly pregnant, I worried what kind of world my child would be born into. As media outlets cover the ten-year anniversary this week, be prepared for images of smoke billowing from the Twin Towers, of a fiery hole in the Pentagon, and of debris in a …

If you hear a low rumbling, followed by shaking walls and small knick knacks falling from your shelves, it is not another earthquake. It’s your kids, bouncing off the walls after a crazy week.    Who can blame them? In the last seven days, Bethesda has had an earthquake, a hurricane, and the start of school. It was a confluence of momentous events strong enough to shake the very foundations of the Kid Universe. First, Bethesda had an earthquake. AN EARTHQUAKE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. What are we– California? Do I need to run out for Daisy Dukes, tofu and a lobotomy? Luckily, it was not a giant “run…

I hate Pepco. I hate their guts. My kids hate their guts. Even the dog, the cat and the hamster hate their guts. Why? Because once again part of Bethesda- specifically my part of Bethesda- is without power. It was almost exactly a year ago that 40,000 Pepco customers lost power, some for five days. My neighborhood alone has endured three multi-day electrical power outages in the last twelve months. We had ten in the two years before that! I have lost everything in my refrigerator at least twice. I have spent more nights than I care to mention either shivering under quilts or sweating without …

Hello pet lovers! Last week’s column detailed the most common “starter pets” for kids. The article prompted a flood of emails informing me that I’m (1) anti-dog and (2) dumb. This is not true. I love dogs! They are delicious. (Kidding! They are actually a little tough.) Before I move on to hamsters, I must defend myself for ignoring dogs and cats. Simply put, cats and dogs are not “starter pets.” Most parents realize adding a puppy or kitten is a major family commitment. Cats and dogs have long lives, usually 10 to 20 years. They roam the house, sleep on your bed and have to go to the vet …

Are your children badgering you for a pet? Most kids love the idea of having a small animal all their own. As you pass a pet store on vacation, or see all the brightly painted hermit crabs at the beach, you may be tempted to give in. Before you do, ask yourself the following question: Do I want a pet? Have no illusions. No matter how passionately your children promise to feed the beast, no matter how much they insist they will ENJOY cleaning its smelly cage, you will be doing it. Experts agree that children under 13 simply are not mature enough to take care of their own pets. Kids over 13 are…

My husband and I were watching TV the other night when a chipmunk scampered across the living room. My husband exploded off the couch with an oath (and not the boy scout oath, either). Cautiously, we peered over a low trunk that the chipmunk was hiding behind. Looking up at us was a sweet little furry face – not a chipmunk at all, but my son’s hamster. World famous escape artist Hairy Houdini was at it again.  Hairy Houdini’s real name is Chester. Chester looks like the hamsters you remember from childhood, with silky golden fur, a white chest, and soulful round black eyes. He is the size of …

It’s Saturday. Your little angel has successfully finished another week of math and robotics camp, and even though he is only nine, you’re fondling brochures for Harvard and MIT. You imagine him a corporate leader, a respected university professor, an influential lawyer or – dare you dream it -- the President of the United States. Then from the living room, you hear it. The worst sound any educated, ambitious parent can hear— the theme from SpongeBob Square Pants. Suddenly in your eyes, your little man isn’t living in the White House; he’s the guy cleaning it. You rush to turn off the TV …

OK, campers, it’s go time. By that I mean it’s time to go to camp. Even if the brochure sounds wonderful—Camp Expensive features unlimited play, ice cream and rides on a magical unicorn—camp can be scary for children. Why shouldn’t it be? Camp is all about new experiences, new locations, and most frightening of all, new friends. If your child makes friends like falling off a log, good for you. If your child is like most kids 12 and under, read on. Making friends is hard. Adults have standard social rules, like shaking hands, which make meeting new people easier. Kid etiquette has rules too, …

Over the weekend, I took my family to the Smithsonian Folklife Festival. It is an annual event that celebrates cultural traditions from around the world. This year’s program featured Colombia’s bio-diversity and its influence on culture; the service and accomplishments of the Peace Corps; and a celebration of Rhythm and Blues music in the United States. There were craft demonstrations, musical, dance, and theatrical performances, food and cooking presentations and hands-on educational activities for kids. The festival seemed a perfect opportunity to help open my family’s eyes to the …

Summer is upon us. My son was so exhausted by his activities last week – building, swimming, reading, running, diving, hiking, speed skating (yes, speed skating) – that when he went into the bathroom Sunday night to brush his teeth, he fell asleep on the floor. It was awesome. If your kids are chorusing “I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored,” here are a few ideas to make them be quiet. The Bethesda Summer Concert Series runs every Thursday through July 21. Take the family out to dinner in Bethesda, and then head to Veterans Park at corner of Norfolk & Woodmont Avenue from 6-8pm. FREE…

Summer is here. School is out. The kids are delighted.  On the last day of school, I saw a group of middle schoolers break into a spontaneous version of “The Chicken Dance” as they got off the bus. At the elementary school, the walkers decided to do cartwheels as they left the school grounds. Now that’s joy. Even high school kids expressed their delight on the last day of school. I saw a few “cool” kids smile when they thought no adults were looking. The kids are happy -- why are so many parents sad?  It’s not just me. Lots of parents dread the summer break. It’s easy to see why.   In …

I want my child to succeed. I want him to broaden his horizons, to learn and see and do more. As parents, we all want to provide exciting opportunities for our kids. Piano lessons? Of course!  Music at an early age not only teaches discipline, but may increase math scores later in life. Soccer team? Yes! It’s never too early to learn the importance of team work. Art class? Ideal!  Camping? Theatre? Baseball? Exotic travel? Space Camp? Nature walks? Museum trips? Yes, yes, yes and more yes! However, many parents deny their children a vital learning experience. They skip the opportunity of a …

Don’t you hate articles that promise you can beat the heat? What does beat the heat mean, anyway? Is this a job for Rihanna and Britney Spears?  (This is a joke. Though, if it were possible, I would take a stick to Old Man Summer myself.) It is not supposed to be miserable in the Washington area until August, when everyone who can leaves town. It’s only June, and we’re stuck in a twilight time between school and vacation. We can’t leave until the kid’s team sports are over, the last math test is graded, and the last house is TP’ed. Worse, most parenting advice I’ve seen on “beating the heat” …

Have you heard the bouncy new club tune by Rihanna, celebrating sadomasochistic sex? Well, your kids have. Here’s a sample: "I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good (at it) Sex in the air I love the smell of it Sticks and stones may break my bones But chains and whips excite me Come on, come on, come on I like it, like it Come on, come on, come on" It’s a very catchy song. You’ll find it on the radio in heavy rotation on pop and dance radio stations (though not the stations my kids are allowed to listen to). Until a few days ago, I’d have told you with complete certainty that my third grader had…

 "Take Our Children to the Park…And Leave Them There” Day is upon us. The idea, put forth by Lenore Skenazy in the Wall Street Journal, is that parents should leave kids ages eight and up in the park unsupervised. She contends that kids need to play without helicopter parents barging in. Skenazy hopes kids will play together happily in a throwback to a better era, like when she was growing up. On some level, it is a great idea. Still, complete absence isn’t a remedy for over protective parenting. The world has changed in the last 20, 30, 40 years. Delivery people, yard services, contractors …

A few weeks ago, I wrote a satirical article about dog poop, because I’m a humorist and poop is funny. Ask any eight-year old. In the article, I happened to mention that lots of pet waste seeps into waterways across the U.S. each year. Come on! I didn’t mean YOUR pet’s waste. I’m clearly talking about OTHER people’s pet waste. Please stop sending me emails and comments.   I’m not anti-dog. I have one. I’m not an environmental activist, though I do enjoy going to the beach. However, all this controversy makes me wonder why people are so riled up. My Mother’s Day article didn’t start a big …