Moms Talk: How to Teach Sportsmanship

Welcome back to Mom's Talk! Each week, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community are all welcome to weigh in and use the discussion forum as a resource. Each week, we'll pose a question and solicit feedback on a wide array of issues, but you should feel free to suggest questions you'd like to see discussed as well.

This week, our discussion turns to teaching good sportsmanship.  

All around the streets of Bethesda, the words, "I'm not playing anymore!" and "Not fair!" ring out and ruin fun playdates on a regular basis. Our circle has eight kids who are running around playing some version of baseball, basketball, soccer, or another rules-oriented game.

After a weekend of putting in eight-hour days playing out in the circle, I came to the startling conclusion that my five year old can be a bad sport! The same kid who is so sweet and encouraging to his little brother can also throw a massive tantrum when someone gets a hit and is entitled to a double because “he didn’t touch the bag with his left foot on his way to second” (um, not the rule). 

I saw with my own eyes as he tried to negotiate for a four-strike rule after he whiffed on strike three. What is going on?  

We teach sportsmanship in our house. We explicitly have talked about how we cheer for our team, not against other teams. We talk about rules and how it only works if everyone follows the rules.

And yet, here is this little bad sportsmanship monster! Who is he?  What do I do? 

Continue to lead by example. Force him to apologize to kids that he is a bad sport to. Make him sit out as punishment for being a bad sport.  What else? Make him write “I will be a good sport” twenty times on our chalkboard downstairs? Force him to spend a weekend sitting on a chair in our front window watching the other kids play? 

How much of this bad sportsmanship is age and maturity related and how much of this is a sign of things to come? Help!  Tell me how you have taught sportsmanship in your house and what obstacles you encountered.