Communicating More Effectively with Your Teen

Many parents feel that their teen doesn't want to open up to them about anything that's going on, may avoid answering questions by saying they don't know, or in some cases lie about minor or more major items. The teen years are difficult for both teens and their parents. Here are a few suggestions to help improve communication with your teen:

1)     Spend time with them doing something fun and avoid talking about things that are likely to cause friction such as homework, grades, and not completing chores. Bonding with your teen engaged in an activity of interest (i.e., going for a hike, out to dinner, playing basketball, going to a museum, etc.) helps promote a positive parent-teen relationship. Many times, teens are worried about parents bringing up things that are an issue, and avoid spending time with parents as a result. Thus, creating a precedent of doing activities without discussing issues that might upset a teen can be very helpful.

2)     If you need to talk to your teen about an issue, make time and make sure both you and your teen are giving each other your undivided attention. Put away the cell phone, turn off the television, and sit down in a comfortable environment where you can both focus on what the other one has to say.

3)     When confronting your teen about an issue, present the issue, and focus on working collaboratively to determine solutions (when applicable). Trying to take a somewhat team-oriented approach, depending on the issue, can be helpful.

Make the most of your time with your teen because they will grow up and likely move out and become independent. Fostering a good relationship now will make your relationship with your teen when they are an adult much better. I hope that these suggestions are helpful.

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Dr. Carey Heller is a licensed psychologist with The Heller Psychology Group LLC in Bethesda, Maryland. He specializes in work with children, adolescents, and families, and is happy to answer questions and provide consultations for individuals who are considering pursuing treatment, an evaluation, or other services for their child, adolescent, or themselves. Dr. Heller can be reached at (301)-385-2610 or careyheller@thehellerpsychologygroup.com.

*Disclaimer: The previous information is intended as general guidance based on my professional opinion, does not constitute an established professional relationship,  and should not replace the recommendations of a psychologist or other licensed professional with whom you initiate or maintain a professional relationship*