I Want to Quit Soccer!

Many children, both boys and girls, play on sports teams.  In some cases, the children really want to play and insist that their parents sign them up. In other situations, parents feel that their children would benefit from playing a sport and sign them up. Regardless of which instance best fits your situation, there’s a good chance at some point that your child is going to want to quit his or her sports team. When this occurs, what do you do? Do you let them? Do you insist they stick it out for the rest of the season?

While every situation is different, here are a few items to use when evaluating this dilemma:

1)      Why Why Why! Understanding why your child wants to quit or not participate on a team for the following season is very important. If your child wants to quit, talk with them and find out why they want to do so. Perhaps they don’t like the sport, their teammates, the coach, or wish to quit for other reasons.

2)      Examine their reasons and determine if there are simple solutions to address the issues. For instance, if your child does not like the coach because he or she feels the coach yells at them too much, talk with your child about ways that they can handle situations when their coach may yell. In addition, discuss whether your child (or you depending on the age of the child) could speak with the coach and determine alternative ways to handle situations instead of he or she yelling. If your child does not like their teammates, determine if there are a few select ones that are causing your child to have difficulties (i.e., a few teammates bullying your child). Determine if speaking with the coach or helping your child to handle those situations effectively would make a difference.

3)      In most cases, if your child committed to a team, it is best if they finish the season before quitting. However, if your child is experiencing significant stress, anxiety, or other symptoms about playing, or while at games, it may be appropriate to consider having them quit.

4)      If your child wants to quit at the end of the session, and you want your child to participate in an activity that keeps them active, it can be helpful to require them to play a sport, but give them a choice in which one they try (i.e., if your child was playing soccer and hated it, give them options to try baseball, karate, or lacrosse). In some cases, children want to quit teams to allow more time for video games and spending time with friends. While some down time is important, if this is the main reason for quitting, try to figure out ways to create more down time and time with friends for your child.

Ultimately the choice is up to you when your child decides that he or she wishes to quit a specific sports team. Evaluating why your child wants to quit, determining solutions to address issues that are occurring, and identifying suitable alternatives are important. Additionally, while sometimes parents enjoy the social aspects of their children playing on a specific sports team, it is important to remember to always put your child’s needs first when it comes to activities that they play. I hope these suggestions have been helpful.

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Dr. Carey Heller is a licensed psychologist with The Heller Psychology Group LLC in Bethesda, Maryland. He specializes in work with children, adolescents, and families, and is happy to answer questions and provide consultations for individuals who are considering pursuing treatment, an evaluation, or other services for their child, adolescent, or themselves. Dr. Heller can be reached at (301)-385-2610 or careyheller@thehellerpsychologygroup.com.

*Disclaimer: The previous information is intended as general guidance based on my professional opinion, does not constitute an established professional relationship,  and should not replace the recommendations of a psychologist or other licensed professional with whom you initiate or maintain a professional relationship*