Making the Most of Your Thanksgiving Holiday

In the traditional sense, Thanksgiving celebrates the remembrance of the Pilgrims' fall harvest meal in 1621. Since that time, Thanksgiving has taken on a variety of meanings to different people. For some, it's an excuse to come together with family and friends for a festive meal. For others, it's a day off work, or a day of rest to prepare for Black Friday shopping. While people view Thanksgiving very differently, and share different opinions on their love or dislike for the holiday, it sometimes brings up a lot of feelings and memories for people.

Specifically, some people may reflect back on past Thanksgivings with family members such as parents, grandparents, and sometimes even significant others and children who are no longer around due to death, divorce, or estrangement. Thus, for some, it can bring up painful feelings. For others, feelings of great nostalgia.

Whether you look at Thanksgiving with great nostalgia and excitement or as a painful remembrance of the past, here are a few suggestions to assist with having a good Thanksgiving in the present:

1)    Thanksgiving can be a great reason to spend time with family and friends. Cherish each Thanksgiving, including this one, for the positives that it brings.

2)    If celebrating the holiday without close family who are no longer around, especially for the first time since the loss of the loved one, it can be helpful to incorporate traditions done previously. It is also healthy to share stories about loved ones no longer around and the positive experiences you had with them in the past (especially if no longer around due to death).

3)    If your kids are driving you crazy while you are trying to prepare the Thanksgiving meal, it can be helpful to assign them tasks to keep them occupied (i.e., make name plates, set the table). If need be, finding a way to get them out of the house for a bit can be helpful (i.e., have a family member take them to the park or out for hot chocolate if a store is open).  

4)    Add elements to the holiday that make you happy (i.e., watching football, movie night with the family after dinner, watching home movies as a family, going to Black Friday sales at midnight as a family, etc.)

 Conclusion

Thanksgiving is traditionally supposed to be a holiday to be thankful for what you have. For some, it brings up things or people that they don't have. For others, it's truly a joyous day. Regardless of your stance on Thanksgiving, I do encourage you to cherish each one, because you never know what changes could occur between this Thanksgiving and the next one. For parents, children grow up and relationships change to some degree as children begin their own lives as adults. Thus, cherish the time you have on Thanksgiving with your children, even if they are being a brat!

Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving to All!

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Dr. Carey Heller is a licensed psychologist with The Heller Psychology Group LLC in Bethesda, Maryland. He specializes in work with children, adolescents, and families, and is happy to answer questions and provide consultations for individuals who are considering pursuing treatment, an evaluation, or other services for their child, adolescent, or themselves. Dr. Heller can be reached at (301)-385-2610 or careyheller@thehellerpsychologygroup.com.

*Disclaimer: The previous information is intended as general guidance based on my professional opinion, does not constitute an established professional relationship,  and should not replace the recommendations of a psychologist or other licensed professional with whom you initiate or maintain a professional relationship*